Every parent has been there. Your usually angelic (or at least
moderately well behaved) child is suddenly intractable, full of
rage, or even engaged in a full-blown temper tantrum. Worse,
your usual discipline measures don't even make a dent in the
attitude or anger. What to do?

First of all it is important to gain some modicum of control.
If you can't get your child under control and you are in a
public place then remove yourselves from the public eye. If you
are home send your child to their bedroom. If you are somewhere
public then try to find some privacy in an empty room,
bathroom, or even your car. Sometimes taking control and giving
everyone some breathing room will defuse the situation, but if
not then ask yourself three key questions:

First, is there a physical cause? Is your child tired or hungry
or overstimulated? Children's bodies do not have the same
stamina as adults and if they are not given several small meals
(or larger meals interspersed with small snacks) and a good
night's sleep as well as some down time during the day they
simply lose the ability to cope. Some children simply shut down
or fall down (asleep) but others act out instead. In addition,
children have only the limited experience of their short lives
and a day that is too full of emotion or activity can overwhelm
them. Sometimes simply too much change or newness can be
overwhelming to a child used to a specific routine or
environment.

Second, is there anything else going on in your child's life
that might be causing stress or is there anything else going on
in your life that might be causing stress to your child?
Children are creatures of habit. While they enjoy the new they
also crave routine. Sometimes they need more time to adjust to
routine and sometimes they actually need the ritual of
discipline to give them security. The familiar dynamic of
discipline is comforting because at least that hasn't changed.

Third, has your child matured or moved into a different phase
of development since your last discipline strategy was
developed? For example, when my son was three we suddenly
discovered our traditional time-out method wasn't working.
However with a slight modification (changing the location) we
were back in business. As he grows older the time-out is now
longer and often comes with built-in penalties for continued
misbehavior. As your child grows and develops so does your
discipline strategy. Perhaps you can simply modify the existing
method or perhaps you need to come up with a whole new plan.

After reviewing your answers to these three key questions
hopefully it is time to release your child from their time out
and to talk things through. Ask your child what is going on?
Ask your child what their punishment (if further punishment is
needed) should be? Younger children won't always be able to
express themselves fully but you may learn some surprising
insights into your child's mind. Then follow through with what
you have decided as a punishment and make sure your child
understands that while you love them you will not tolerate the
behavior you just punished.

About The Author: Deanna Mascle shares more parenting advice
with her blog at http://OfficialFamily.us