"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Whether parent or teacher, we have all "been there" and "done that" with a child exhibiting refusal behaviors. Before "losing your cool" and your power as well, interventions and strategies are provided for use to help deescalate this classic power struggle.

-Avoid placing yourself in a stand-off situation with the child.

-Don?t ?mark a line in the sand? unless prepared to follow through with the consequences on your own. Creating a demand situation?.?You will sit in your seat or I will call someone to seat you??.will cause the authority figure to lose his/her power. This is a main goal of oppositional children?personal control over their environment.

-Under a demand situation, especially with authority figures, an oppositional child will be more likely to escalate to extreme opposition. Stop talking. Give the child a chance to detach from the situation with some power. Problem-solving the situation when both parties are calm will prove more productive.

-Phrase requests which are more likely to bring an oppositional response with a negative statement??I don?t expect you would want to?.? Or ?You probably wouldn?t want to?..?

-Create a situation where it is more worth the child?s while to be part of.

-Use distraction.

-Give choices which give the student some control.

-Give the student a specific leadership role during stressful transitions, such as day care dismissal. Monitoring younger children for appropriate dismissal behavior, such as sitting quietly, would be an example of a specific leadership role.

These children can be extremely challenging. Should a pattern of continuing emotionality become evident, additional advice from professionals, such as the child's pediatrician or a school guidance counselor, would be recommended in order to develop a positive behavior support system to help ensure behavioral success.

Related Articles: