How can I motivate my child to study and get good grades? To do
his homework? To succeed in school, so that he can go to the
best college? To go to college? To practice playing the piano?
How can I motivate my child to put in the effort needed to
achieve his own goals?

What parent does not want to see their child shine, succeed and
achieve? What parent doesn't want to see their child happy? We
want to be proud of our child, enjoy his success.

I will never forget the day. My son participated in the science
faire, and after winning the first place in the local science
fair, was sent to participate in the California State Faire. In
Los Angeles, thousands of children participated. Children and
parents prepared for this events for a whole year, or even
longer. Looking around me, I see teams bringing in their huge
project boards. Excited parents accompanying their children,
carrying their children's projects. An atmosphere of excitement
everywhere. I felt honored just to be there, observe my son
participate.

After all the efforts that went into this event, now it was the
time for the award ceremony. Many thousands of people -
participants, parents and guests, sitting in a stadium,
watching. Now it is time for "our" category. First the
"honorable mention" winner was called to the stage. Then - the
3rd place, 2nd place... and first place. It's my son's name.
Can you imagine how I felt? I think that I practically took off
and floated in the air. I remember saying "It is a good
feeling". And people around me - congratulating me,
participating in the joy, I heard one man say; "I bet it is".

This is the culmination of what we want. This wonderful feeling
is what we want for our children and for ourselves. But how do
we achieve this? How do we get our children to apply
themselves? How do we get our children to understand what
actions they need to take now for their future success?

4 key thing contribute to our child's motivation:

1. Importance and inspiration: The goal has to be an inspiring
goal to your child, and has to feel that it is important for him
to achieve the goal.

2. Possibility: The child has to know and feel that it is
possible for him to achieve the goal. If the child has doubt
that he can achieve the goal, or thinks that it is impossible,
there is little chance that he will work towards the goal and
apply himself.

3. Acknowledgment and appreciation, reward: It is easier to
keep a child motivated when offering a tangible reward. Knowing
that achieving the goal will meet with a tangible form of
acknowledgment, appreciation and reward, will add this extra
drive.

4. Persistence. The route towards any worthwhile goal includes
some minor set-backs and disappointments. The child needs to
learn to get up, brush himself off, and get right back on the
horse.

When a child knows that a goal is important, feels that it is
possible for him to achieve it, and is offered an incentive to
work towards the goal, the chances are that he will be
motivated to put in the effort needed to achieve the goal. Add
to it persistence, and the results are as much as guaranteed.
Importance:

As parents, we always want our child to work towards a goad
that inspires him. Help your child see the possibilities. Help
your child dream big.

Don't wait until your child is in high school to start thinking
about ways to achieve that. Would you like your child to get a
good education, to succeed in school? Start early on. Encourage
your child to do well in school. Tell your child stories about
students who succeeded in school and their achievements that
came as a result of this success. Explain what the advantages
are, of getting a good education. Why is it worth it to make
great efforts to get a good education? The key is to get your
child to see the opportunity for himself. If your child gets
the idea that it is important for you that he gets a good
education and succeeds in school, you have missed the mark. You
want your child to understand why it is important for him to do
all these things.

I always told my children: when you get education, when you
study, you invest in yourself. In addition to the doors that
will open to you as a result of getting education, you become
more knowledgeable. More intelligent. You become wiser. YOU.

Make sure your child hangs out with friends who are successful
in school. When your child is young, it is easy to choose his
friends. Later your child will choose his own friends. In order
to have some control over this, do your best to get your child
into a good school, and in that good school, into the honors
programs. Children have a tendency to adjust themselves to
their environment, and sometimes a healthy competition
develops, which encourages the children to put in more effort.

One tool that mothers have used throughout the ages, is
repetition. It is not enough to have one conversation with your
child, explaining the value of applying themselves. You have to
put together a "plan of attack". Prepare interesting reading
material and movies about some role models. Provide biographies
of people of great achievements. Research theater performances
about role models, and take your child to watch them. Introduce
successful people to your child. Do you have accomplished,
educated people among your friends? Ask them to meet your child
and talk about their success and how they achieved it. Have
conversations with your child about his future, his goals, what
does he want to be when he grows up? Repeat the idea you are
trying to introduce to your child, in many different ways.

Possibility:

How do we bring our child to believe in himself? Affirmations
are a very effective tool. Write down some affirmations that
you think will best encourage and inspire your child. For
example: "you are very smart and talented". "You learn very
fast". "You have an excellent memory". "You can do it". It has
been shown that affirmations are most effective when repeated 3
times. Choose one affirmation for a day and repeat it at least 3
times during the day. Can you get your partner to cooperate and
do the same? The more people you can get to repeat the
affirmation, the better the result. Have your child repeat the
affirmation himself - at least 3 times.

Can you imagine how your child will feel, if he hears from
everyone that day how smart and talented he is? Can you imagine
the smile on his face? Do you think that there is any chance in
the world, that he will not be encouraged?
Acknowledgment, appreciation, reward:

A close relative of the word "motivate" is "encourage". What
comes to your mind when you think of the word "encourage"? The
thing that comes to my mind, is praise. All of us, adults as
well as children, respond well to praise, and feel encouraged
when we receive praise. If you want to encourage your child to
succeed, praise him and celebrate every action that leads in
the right direction. Every small achievement. Most of us
(including our kids) tend to be self judgmental. We criticize
ourselves, and any small set back often seems like a serious
failure. Your child will feel encouraged if his efforts are
appreciated, and achievements are acknowledged.

Praise on the way to achieving the goal is important. In
addition, making sure the child knows the rewards for achieving
the goals will be significant. Determining what the rewards is,
depends on you. You are the only one who can determine what is
affordable, realistic for you, and very desirable for your
child. The reward has to be age appropriate. In his article:
Incentive plans for gifted, but unmotivated kids, Wayne Fujita
has a few good suggestions.

Persistence:
Persistence is to a great degree a learned trait. Our children
need to learn persistence, they need to learn that if we suffer
a set back, we don't give up. Instead, we increase our efforts.
Who can teach them that, if not us?

An effective tool to teach persistence, is story telling. Story
telling can take the form of a book, a movie, a discussion.
There are many inspiring books and movies available about
people who persisted and achieved, against all odds. Keep your
eyes open, and when you find an inspiring story, share it with
your child.

Holding discussions with your child, is also very effective.
When your child suffers a temporary set back, it will help him
if you can put it in perspective for him. Knowing that a set
back is minor, takes some judgment. Good Judgment is often a
result of experience, and obviously children and young people
need our help to develop good judgment. Explain to your child
that this is just a minor, temporary set back. Help your child
learn the lesson necessary to learn from this, and concentrate
on preparing for the upcoming success. Encourage your child to
concentrate on the goal, instead of any small set back on the
way.

Just like parenting, inspiring and motivating our children is a
life long job. If you start at an early age, put together a
"plan of attack", use the "tools of the trade" and add a
healthy amount of love, the results will come. Satisfaction is
guaranteed.

About The Author: http://www.all- gifted-children. com For the
last 27 years, Esther Andrews has specialized in gifted
education. In her "The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With
- How to Develop Your Child's Genius" she is revealing how she
grew two profoundly gifted children and how you can do it to.
Check it out at http://www.all- gifted-children. com/package. htm

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