Dear Mom,

I try to leave my child and the minute I walk out of the room,
she starts crying or screaming for me. Please help this gone
crazy mom of how I can help my baby let me leave her for just a
little bit. I think she has toddler separation anxiety but I
just want to know how to overcome this.

Thanks,
Carol

Carol,

It is normal for your baby to be going through what they are
going through. For nine months, they were attached to us 24
hours a day 7 days a week. We were their lifeline and they have
to learn their independence from us. Their whole mentality knows
they are sensing this whole new freedom from mom, but yet they
have reservations about beginning new things. The mom can help
teach them independence by taking baby steps and not trying to
separate from them without building up the process. You may
ask, what steps can we take?

Start out small. Let them play in the living room as you go to
the next room (room needs to be in eye view) to do a certain
task as folding clothes. Make sure you are keeping eye contact
with them and reassuring that mom is right here. Speak in
positive, upbeat words. The first time may not work, but just
keep repeating yourself and do it over and over until they are
fine with you being in the next room.

Stretch the time being gone. When dad or another caregiver
comes home, go and take a shower or soak in a nice bubble bath.
Reassure the child you will be back. Never sneak away from the
child as this will leave a bad coping skill with her and think
you are never coming back. Give it 15 or 20 minutes and show
your presence to the baby. Hug her and let her know you missed
her, but will always return when mommy goes. After you do this
a few times and she gets used to the ide of you being gone for
that short amount of time, try going to the store for a longer
period of time. You can continue to stretch each trip until you
feel comfortable with the time you are being gone, for example
if you are trying to build up to a night out of town with your
signifcant other.

By taking things slowing, it will help you and your child
overcome toddler separation anxiety with much less tears,
heartbreak and stress. The baby will continue to grow her
independence from you and will soon love her new found freedom
of having playtime with dad, grandma or grandpa, or other
special friend.

Hang in there mom it will get better and know other moms are
going through the same thing as you right now.

Fellow Mom,
Jen

About The Author: Jennifer Houck is the owner of the online
Parent Center at http://www.ilovebeingamom.com to where you can
find many more resources and tips to help in the daily journeys
of raising a toddler.

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